A letter from a law student to American liberals
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters,
We’ve stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know that we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and just will not ever agree on what’s right. So let’s just end it right now while we can do it on friendly terms. We can smile, shake hands, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and each go our own way.
So here’s a model separation agreement.
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a portion. That’s going to be the difficult part, but I’m sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate taste. We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can have those. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. And since you hate guns and you hate war, we’ll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. But you are going to be responsible for finding a biodiesel vehicle big enough to haul them around.
We’ll keep the capitalism, the greedy corporations, the pharmaceutical companies; we will keep Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have the homeless, the homeboys, the hippies and illegal aliens. We will keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, the greedy CEOS and all of the rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and we’ll let you have NBC and Hollywood.
You can be nice to Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer anybody that threatens us. You can have the peaceniks and the war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we will provide them with security. You won’t have to worry about it. We will keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley Maclaine. You can also have the UN, but we will no longer pay the bill.
We will keep the SUVs, the pickup trucks and the oversize luxury cars. You can have the compacts, the subcompacts and every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everybody healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We will continue to believe that healthcare is a privilege and not a right. We will keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and the national anthem, and I am sure you will be happy to substitute in their place “Imagine.” I’d like to teach the world to sing “Kumbaya” or “We are the world.” We will practice trickle-down economics and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot. And since it so offends you, we will keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. And if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the friendly spirit of parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in about 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J Wall
Law student and an American
P.S. You can also have Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda
Letter was obtained from boortz.com
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March 5th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
“We’ve stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.”
Bye-bye, have fun where ever you end up.
“Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate taste. ”
Not a problem. I’m from the liberal Northeast, the part of the country that pays for the rest. Take you share of the debt and we will be fine.
“You can keep Oprah, …”
One of the richest women in America, done so on her own.
“we’ll let you have NBC and Hollywood.”
One of the few American industries making money these days.
“When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we will provide them with security.”
How are you going to pay for that without the money from the Northeast and Pacific West, liberal areas all?
“We will keep the SUVs, the pickup trucks and the oversize luxury cars. ”
When you figure out how to fuel them and build them (oh, that’s right, you will magic the money and buy them from us or Japan) let us know.
“We will keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley Maclaine.”
Jews voted 75% for Obama. Nice try though. By “values” you mean discriminating by religion and race and gender and sexual orientation.
March 5th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
We keep the schools and universities. We keep the military and industrial infrastructure which won WWII. We keep the right to vote. We keep the national parks. We keep the middle class. We have Obama. You keep Bush. We keep the blue states. You keep the rest.
Thanks for doing business.
March 5th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
You got the nail with the hammer. This is what the county needs. More of the smartest people runing things. Thank you for the great read. I will tell my mother about this. She likes to read the truth of things. Expeshally the thing that are going to effect our children.
March 5th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Its a deal. You take the Red states. We take the Blue. As for:In the friendly spirit of parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in about 15 years. What exactly in terms of human capital is it that you suspect is lacking in our Blue states but is present in Red states?
March 5th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Another short-sighted, wet-behind-the-ears twerp with a sense of personal superiority and about 20 minutes of experience. Junior, you’ve got a lot to learn.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Sounds like a plan. Let the liberals run their areas just like they have run California. (don’t even try and say Arnold is a republican, it doesn’t even pass the laugh test)
March 6th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Don’t let the political scum divide you like this. This is exactly what they want and have collaborated on for years. They distract us and divide us by telling us what the “issues” are and then shit all over us and take what they like for themselves and for their cronies and spawn. We can still differ and even hotly debate political philosophies but we now have to stand together to defeat the political parasites. If any of you believe that Democrats or Republicans give a rats skanky ass about the average American you are sadly mistaken. If they do anything at all to benefit us it is only incidental to what they have in mind to benefit themselves. Don’t fight. Disagreement is fine and even inevitable. But if we don’t stand together and destroy the scum in Washington now we may never get the chance again. Keep talking. But don’t let them instill in us a hatred for each other. The only ones I hate are the parasites. If you follow this link you will see how I feel about Congress. And for that matter all politicians. My comment is plainly listed under my name, Tom Chase, posted at March 6th. 7:46 PM.
http://kevincolby.com/2009/01/04/herman-cain-wants-you-to-join-the-intelligent-thinkers-movement/
March 6th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Just so you don’t have to follow the link away from what you are doing, here is the post. But I would suggest reading the article when you can. And then register to take action. The registration (join now) button is a little hard to notice. It is at the end of the paragraph with the headline:
“JOIN Hermanator’s Intelligent Thinkers Movement (HITM)”.
I will copy the link here. Hopefully it will work in the body of this text.
JOIN NOW!
March 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Nope, didn’t work.
March 6th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
http://visitor.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?m=1102343542682&p=oi
March 11th, 2009 at 12:37 am
If there is such division in this country between liberal and conservative, religious and atheist, warmonger and peacenik, I say we go back to what WORKED. We give 90% of the power this federal black hole of a govt. has sucked up from the states since lincoln BACK to the states where it constitutionally belongs. THEN the states (and thus the inhabitants who are more likely to be of similar mind) can decide what to legislate and how.
If you take one second and think about the powers that were delegated to the federal government explicitly, just how many of the things it does NOW are written there? Does it have the right? A union held together by force alone is no union at all.
The federal government is the reason we are all fighting each other tooth and nail. If kansas could teach creationism and massachusetts could marry gays, we would be all set! Its this trying to make everyone as controlled and miserable as you are that has done this to us.
The common thing all americans share is a love of LIBERTY. This is what the federal government was supposed to protect.
Shame on you all for not following the founders plan for this country and thinking you were so much smaer than them, that you could outdo what took them blood sweat and tears to find. Shame on you for fighting each other while the feds use each convenient crisis to usurp even more control over you.
May 14th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Do you realize that if we were to do this, they would collapse within five years, not fifteen? A book has already been written about this. It’s called “Atlas Shrugged”. Liberalism can’t survive without some thinkers and doers to keep footing the bill. That’s why Socialism collapses. Health care is a personal responsibility, not a privilege or a right. Also, they don’t get all of the homeboys, it only seems that way.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:35 am
“A law student.” So, daddy footing the bills then? Oh, and you are aware that Lawyers are scum right?
June 13th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Dear American conservatives, rightists, reactionaries, fascists and Republican supporters, et al:
We liberals would prefer to stick with our family values and work things out rather than go through a divorce based on irreconcilable differences. We always believe things can be worked out (music fade in……”We are the World, We are the Children”, and “Imagine”…music fade out).
However, we know you conservatives change partners as fast as televangelists change wives. We understand that you are just remaining true to your American Revolutionary spirit.
We liberals may have our heads in the clouds, but fortunately (for us) and unfortunately (for you), we have the lion’s share of the lawyers. Now lawyers are tricky devils, and they tell me you forgot to divide some rather important property. Should you agree to the following, I’m sure our divorce will be fair and amicable and we won’t put up too much of a fuss:
First:
We’ll take all the scientists that belong to the National Academy of Sciences, and you can take the states most affected by global warming or as some of you like to say “climate change”.
Second:
You take high gasoline prices and mega houses, and we’ll take electric cars, solar panels, and wind mills. We’ll put up with some short term sacrifices so that so we aren’t supporting the mega rich oil nations that are bent on our destruction. You can continue to do business with the House of Saud.
Third:
We’ll take the open source programmers, and the other denizens of Silicon Valley, and you can take the graduates of Bob Jones University who believe man walked with dinosaurs. Of course, you won’t have any vaccines or antibiotics for infectious diseases since those medicines are developed solely on the theory of evolutionary biology, but we’ll cede to you the “laying on of hands” for your medical R&D. And let us not forget that your conservative legislators can just pass laws against viruses or bacterium. Wow, conservatives really do have a comprehensive medical plan!
Fourth:
We’ll take NPR any day over Rush Limbaugh and his illegal drug habit. By the way, you’ll be glad you kept your SUVs since you will need one to fit him into – maybe two. Just don’t forget his “stash”. He gets testy without it.
Fifth:
Remember that Universal Health Care is our baby. We sincerely hope you will find a job that will give you health care or hasn’t been shipped overseas.
Sixth:
I don’t think you can take all of the Armed Forces. Colin Powell and the other Obama supporters in the Armed Forces will probably come with us. Of course we’re happy to let you have Hurricane Katrina, while we keep the Navy Seals that took out the Somali pirates.
Seventh:
I predict that when we take all the “liberal Hollywood producers”, you’ll find a number of conservatives who crossover to see their favorite TV programs or big budget films. TV and movies made by conservatives don’t play so well with the masses, liberal or conservative. I’ll bet more time is spent by conservatives watching TV and movies than reading the Bible and going to church.
Please speak with our lawyers if this is amenable to you. We’re out saving the whales right now.
P.S. Oh, and please take Bernie Madoff and AIG with you. Both flourished under Bush, Inc. They’ll feel right at home with you guys.
September 29th, 2009 at 10:17 am
liberals suck. their mascot is a jackass, any questions?
October 5th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Love this idea…We will take the Military, Police, Firemen, Christian Churches and Hospitals. We will take all the Christian Universities, The Constitution and The Ammendments with the Declaration of Independence. You will not need laws, since you want anarchy. It will be a re-make of THE WILD WEST! Maybe we should take all the speed signs. You take all the illegals and the free-loaders, and of course ACORN and the Black Panthers, rev wright and Carter.. We want Alan Keys, Mr Steel, and all the decent Congress folk. You take Gore, Clintons, Obama, the czars, Sebebius and Napalitano. Mayor Daley and the mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans, who wants a chocolate city, would be perfect for you. You might want the corrupt New Orleans police department. Oh, and please move that funeral home ACORN Uses for 260+ ACORN addresses., to plan their corruption. We will take all the Christian attorneys and Judges. We love America, so it seems best that we take the eastern half of the US, and you take the west. That way we will be able to treasure and perserve the Whitehouse, the Capital, the Smithsonian, and all the beautiful buildings gained by American effort. Of course, we would have Arlington, West Point, Quantico, Gettysburg and the war memorials. We can get the memorial for 9/11 completed, since you folks think 9/11 was just a conspiracy. We will keep all the honest businesses, and all the CEOs who are capitalists. We will keep all the steepled churches that pepper the east of this country, and you keep the Christian Scientology bunch, and the New Age , and fairy-speak folks. Please gather up all the Bibles for us ( unless you want to keep a few, for some folks who may be hurting and wonder where God is.) We will keep and proudly fly all the American flags. We will reinstate prayer in schools. We will teach our kids phonics and rhetoric. We will give them play time, to learn team-effort, music, art and dance, even drum corps! They will learn Mozart and all the great composers. We will plan field trips to places they can learn of American Heritage, and how to be good stewards of this earth GOD gave us. Conservative kids will learn American History, the rules of civility, respect for others, good study skills and we will encourage achievement. We will start each school day with The Pledge of Allegience and a little prayer, to thank GOD for the new day and all HIS Provisions. We will have charter schools, home schooling and great public schools. Families can choose! We will teach our kids right from wrong, according to God’s Principles, and we will get new and better text books for them. You take all those books about “I have two daddies” or “Chose the sex you want to be today”. We will find ways for parents to get lunch time with their kids and go to their ball games, as we want flexible work schedules, that will help us re-build our families. We will do things to build stronger marriages! You can make unisex bathrooms everywhere. We will have Men’s and Women’s. You can teach your transgendered to just use urinals, which would save you money for your bathrooms, and you won’t need use TP, just air-dry your bottoms. We will take the cushy TP., because we re-plant trees. You keep your liberal text books. We will only need family-friendly radio stations. You keep Howard Stern and Gar-awful. We will have “live” theater/Broadway, and great concerts; and you will have all of Hollywood! .We will strive to live by The Golden Rule. Gee, this plan should work out swell, since most of Oregon and Wash, plus a chunk of Calif are goofy- liberal. You can put Pelosi in charge! WE don’t want her! Gosh, you get all the gay pride folks and their parades! Good for you. They repulse us. You will even have Las Vegas. Yea for you! We will treasure of Conservative values. You take the NEA. SEIU, Chigago-corrupt leaders and New Orleans. Maybe the Mississippi River would be a good place to place our boundary-line. We would still be America, but the “divided states of America.” St Louis could be the GATEWAY for those who want to state their chosen affiliation and then move to the side they choose! We will keep our own census. You have ACORN to do yours, while they plan their brothels, and park folks in houses they cannot afford. Be sure to get Barney Frank and C Dodd to help you. They are great at Progressive Planning. Van Jones could be your “green job czar”. He is looking, you know. Yes!! I am liking the friendly Divorce process. I am sure Vermont will pack up and get to you, soon. All those Hollywood loonies will be thrilled. . Our churches and Synagoes will be full! You can have all the liberal Congress folk. We will elect a new, good-hearted, nimble-brained statesmen, and we will fill our Congress seats with both Democrats and Republicans. We will have the kind of Democratic party my parents used to enjoy. No Progressives. You take all the Progressives, all the communists, Marxists and Muslims. We may have to erect missle defense shields. We will see who chooses to take their company to Conservative East or to Liberal West. Gosh, Ben and Jerry will have to bring their cows and go west.You take Oprah, NBC, MSNBC, CBS, ABC and NPR. We will take FOX NEWS, Rush, Dr Dobson, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter Dr Art Laffler, Steve Forbes, Donald Trump, Dave Ramsey, and the Fox Business channel. . We will take most of the liberal commentators on Fox, except grumpy Bob Beckel and goofy Juan Williams. You take them! You take Michael Moore, the Dixie Clucks, Madonna etc. We want Chuck Norris, Kelsey Graham, Gary Sinese, one Baldwin brother, Kirk Cameron and the Osmonds. We hope Pres Bush and Laura will join us, and of course Mr Cheney. We will respect all past Conservative presidents. Wow! we could elect Mike Huckabee as our new President…or Mitt Romney! YES! We will take the country music groups/Nashville will be ours! We will get Mo-Town busy again. We love good music. You take the Grateful Dead, ACDC. and the voodoo/LSD crowd. You take the solar cars and we will take the F150’s. We will rebuild Detroit, and build better cars. You take government GM. We will take the rednecks. You take the libreral newspapers. We can let the Sports Teams play both sides, and choose where they wish to live. You government buildings can be used for environmentalist planning liberal planning :to save the whales, the wild horses, the marsh rats, and condom plants, and oh yes the smelt! We will ask those farmers from Calif, who were destroyed when you turned off their water, to come east, pick out some great growing land and we will help them. We will be sure they get WATER. You can sit by the waterside and enjoy your smelt! Oh! this is such an exciting plan. I love it!
January 15th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Nice!, found your blog on Bing.Glad I finally tested it out. Unsure if its my Firefox browser,but sometimes when I visit your site, the fonts are really small? Anyway, love your site and will check back.Bye